Don't make cheays do this again. Two ex- PricewaterhouseCoopers staffers were found guilty in Luxembourg of stealing confidential tax files that helped unleash a global scandal over generous fiscal deals for hundreds of international companies.
Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. Subscribers also have access to loads of hidden content. Join now and wield the awesome power of the thumb. If you're already an awesome Cracked subscriber, click here to login. It doesn't matter how good you think you are at gaming the system, casino games are very carefully designed to make sure you lose more money than you win. Whether you're talking about slot machines in Vegas or scratch-offs bought at a gas station, it's all a big scam to take advantage of our human inability to calculate probability.
And the best part? These were gambling is psychologically harmful completely legal! Craps is a unique game because it's the only one where the casino trusts you to throw the dice yourself.
You're allowed to hold, shuffle, and throw them however you want, even rub them on your ass crack and sing a prayer to Zuul the Gatekeeper of Gozer if that's what your superstition commands. The only stipulation is that the dice have to hit the far side of the table.
That's because they know that the craps tables look like they were designed by Frank Gehry. See, those rubber pyramids along the edges are supposed to send the dice flying all over the place, so that any fancy dice-throwing technique you come up with will do nothing but give you a sad, pathetic illusion of control. He claims to have cracked dice physics in such a way as to command the result of a dice throw, rubber pyramids or not.
Or, you can just continue reading this article for free, because we're about to tell you. Basically, in craps, you mostly want to avoid rolling a seven. The longer you can go without rolling seven, the more money you make. Dominator's technique involves holding the dice like this, so no two sides add up to seven:. Dice Setter These two sides add up to six dots, which the boys in the lab tell us is less than seven. Golden Touch "Use an underhand motion, as though you're not completely comfortable with the use of human limbs.
The idea is that the dice land flat on the table, transferring most of the energy to the table surface. By the time their journey reaches the table edge, they're exhausted and just want to lay down with a good book, so the pyramids just sort of nudge them instead of bouncing them around. Apparently, the theory is sound if you can do it correctly. A guy with the pseudonym "Stanford Wong" joined the seminar, practiced 5, throws, then bet people he could beat the odds and roll less than 80 sevens in rolls.
Of course, there's no magic trick here other than "get really good at rolling dice" and you probably have to be willing to lose a gambling industry revenues growth of money while you practice. Unless you buy your own craps table to practice on, we suppose, but there's a good chance that's going to result in your family staging an intervention. All eurogrand european roulette did was pay very close attention to the back of the playing cards:.
Philly Mag This is a completely normal hobby. The pattern of white dots were, of course, the same from bahntix ausdrucken online card to the next. ButIvey noticed that they weren't perfectly centered -- the row of white dots on one side of the card was thinner than the nurse roulette cheats, due to a minute error when the cards were cut during manufacturing.
On the surface, this wouldn't seem to be terribly helpful. But let's say you could take all of the aces in a deck and spin them around degrees -- you would then have a way to figure out which cards were aces just by looking at the backs as long system of a down roulette ringtone the dealer never rotates them again, or changes decks. So actually taking advantage of this little trick required an elaborate, ridiculous charade on Ivey's part.
First, keep in mind that Ivey is what casinos call a "whale. So he was able to use the promise of a huge profit to negotiate with the casino to get a baccarat game set up just the way he wanted. In exchange for gambling a million dollars, he would get his own private table and have the cards shuffled by an automatic shuffler to avoid having a dealer screw up his scheme by turning the cards. He also requested a Mandarin-speaking dealer for no discernible reason Ivey is not Chinese other than making the whole thing seem like as much of an Ocean's 11 caper as possible.
With all the pieces thus in place, the heist could begin. Ivey would start at low stakes, losing money while golden ratio roulette the backs of the cards.
Then, citing superstition, his accomplice would ask the dealer to deal cards a certain way. If the card was a high-value card, she'd tell the dealer "Hao" Mandarin for "good card" and instructed the dealer to turn it over like you normally would. If the card was of low value, she'd say "Buhao" "bad card"and ask the dealer to turn it sideways, meaning it would wind up rotated degrees when placed back in the deck.
At that point, Ivey just needed to stay at that table long enough to get all of the cards "marked" the way he wanted, playing internet gambling cheats bunch of low-stakes hands to get through the decks. Ivey has remained tight-lipped about his antics, making vague admissions while maintaining that what he does is a legitimate way to play cards runde aufkleber online drucken a common enough tactic that there's a name for it -- "edge sorting".
After all, is it his fault that the card factory has poor quality control? So if you're gonna do it, you've got to be discreet, is what we're saying. Don Johnson not the guy from Miami Vice is, like the guy above, a whale. And, like the guy above, casinos don't like Johnson much because he just keeps winning all the time.
Anyway, Johnson figured out a lot of tips to gain the upper hand at the casino over the years, but one of his techniques is exploiting dealer error. The game of blackjack, for example, requires dealers to be pretty quick with their math, since it's all about collecting cards that add up to 21 just one over, and you lose. Dealer errors -- like if the dealer mistakenly adds a losing 22 hand up to 21 -- can get you all sorts of perks, from a free bet to just paying you out for the hand anyway.
There are extensive guides dealing with how to maximize the chance of such errors. Tips range from playing during the graveyard shifts, to distracting the dealer with unrelated questions, to exuding an unpleasant smell. And Johnson, well, he would do everything from intimidating the dealers by angrily staring at them, to using his clout to hire scantily dressed porn stars to pretend to be his girlfriends just to boobsmack the dealer into a quivering mess. So if you're ever at the casino and see a guy "accidentally" slap his dick onto the table while no bingo deposit dealer is trying to declare a winner, that's why.
The lottery is an attractive way to gamble, not just because of the huge jackpots, but because losing your life savings at a rate of two bucks a week isn't as noticeable as losing it in one bad hand at the poker table. But the odds of winning a lottery jackpot are still tens of millions to one, which is roughly the probability of having a meteorite made of gold land right in your pocket while you're strolling down the sidewalk. Still, an MIT senior named James Harvey figured out a way to rig the lottery in his favor by using book smarts, which are the natural enemy of gambling magnates everywhere.
His solution came from the fact that some lotteries use a "roll-down" system. That means that if no one person wins the jackpot by guessing all six numbersthen the amount is equally distributed among those who guessed four or five numbers, which is statistically easier to do. Harvey simply realized that one person could still theoretically win the jackpot if they owned all of those less impressive tickets.
Harvey figured out, however, that the odds of guessing four or five numbers ran at a more comfortable 39, to 1. Even with enough tickets to fill a bathtub, they still only firebike 26 roulette wheels a few winners with three or four out of six numbers. Over time, the operation grew when more MIT students heard about how Harvey had gamed the system, and turned cracking the lottery into a profitable enterprise.
It didn't take long for lottery officials to find out about the scheme, but since Harvey and co weren't technically cheating, and the lottery was still making the same profit, they didn't do anything about it until some journalists started snooping into the suspicious fact that the same group of students kept winning the lottery every week, after which the officials quietly discontinued the game. We said it above, and we'll say it again: Mohan Srivastava, a Canadian statistician, was cleaning out his desk when he discovered an old gag gift from a friend -- scratch tickets.
Apparently, this is how statisticians play pranks on each other, because any true statistician knows that scratch tickets aren't worth shit. But after winning three bucks on one of the tickets, he got to wondering how he could crack the scratch ticket codewhich sounds like the plot to a Dan Brown novel after he's far beyond running out of ideas.
What occurred to him is that scratch tickets cannot be produced randomly, because that would enable the possibility of randomly generating a dozen billion-dollar winners that would crash the system. No, there had to be a pattern. And Srivastava, being a statistician worth his salt, accidentally solved the pattern on his lunch break. He turned his attention to a specific game -- basically a tic-tac-toe game that asks the player to match a series of visible numbers against the numbers under the scratchable coating.
It takes a bit of math knowledge to understand exactly what he did, but in short, Srivastava discovered that the frequency of the visible numbers gave insight into what numbers appeared under the scratch zone -- and he became so good at predicting it that he didn't even have to scratch spiel roulette free tickets to know if he'd won. And, unlike the techniques above that just gave players a slight edge over the house, Srivastava's technique was 90 percent accurate.
The more he bought, the more he'd win, until somebody caught on. Being Canadian, Srivastava didn't use his mathematical scratch-hacking to become a millionaire, but instead politely reported his findings to Scratch Ticket Headquarters so they could correct it, presumably apologizing the whole time for his nosiness. That's right, kids -- he won the greatest lottery of all. The lottery of human kindness. Or, he was just getting them to let their guard down so he could cheats them for a much greater sum down the line; keep an eye on him.
Why didn't you tell me probabilities could be solved by math?! Follow Chris over at Laffington. Are you on reddit? Click on over to our best of Cracked subreddit. Planning a trip to Vegas with your friends? Click the Facebook 'share' button, and maybe one of pittsburg sol frost illegal gambling will come home a winner.
But, y'know, probably not. Nobody expects celebrities to be exactly the way they portray themselves onscreen. Still, it's always shocking when famous people turn out to be the complete opposite of what they're famous for. Sometimes a writer will know they want a beloved character to sacrifice themselves at the end of the second act, but they'll leave the details for later. Don't make me do this again. Sign in with Facebook.
Don't have an account? Please enter a Username. I agree to the Terms of Service. Add me to the weekly newsletter. Add me to the daily newsletter. The Cracked Podcast Virals. All he did was pay very close attention to the back of the playing cards:It doesn't matter how good you think you are at gaming the system, casino games are very carefully designed to make sure you lose more. Online gambling companies who are refusing to pay up or are preventing players from collecting their winnings are to face a probe, the competition regulator has said. An inquiry from the Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) will look into whether terms and conditions for online. betcasino.top - This week we're looking at a live dealer at BetOnline who was caught.